Hello, it's me and my testimony again.

Btw, an old friend of mine wrote me out of the blue today.

Long story short, she asked me if her husband could use an entry from my recent blabberings called "my testimony" (or something like that) in her husband's upcoming Sunday lesson at church.

1. I was super flattered that anyone would be reading my blog

(I know for sure you guys read it, Dayna, Norma and Dee :)

2. I thought. hmm, maybe I need to repent. lol

Repent wouldn't be quite the right word, but point was, that I was reminded that no matter how "simple and of no importance" people think their testimonies are of what they believe in, they--I-- should be sharing it wherever, whenever, with whomever.

I always think; my testimony's of no worth, I have nothing important to say, it's the same old, same old.

so what? I think sometimes we LIKE to feel that we're normal. I think we sometimes NEED to feel that we're okay--that our mediocre testimony--the non-flashy--not wordy--"I believe" testimony is what 99.9% of the people can relate to--but we don't hear it--almost never. Maybe that's why so many of us feel less important a lot of times? Because all we hear up at the podium at fast Sundays, while great, are how people came to know the gospel was true by means of powerfully answered prayers and okay, just plain amazing experiences of which, I'm so far from. (again, those are great stories, thanks for sharing, but I'm just talking about normal people like myself here--I've never experienced such hard core earth shattering witnesses for my testimony)

I just feel it's the right thing.

I just think I don't have anything to lose by believing.

I just...well, I know that I am a daughter of God and that He loves me because whenever I think about it, my heart quiets all other doubts and fears.

That is why I believe.

Thanks Mindee for waking me up. :)

(art by Greg Olsen)

Just me and the kids

I wished I was better at posting pictures along with my entries...'cuz I've got some cuute pics of the kids and what we've been up to these days...but alas, I'm not that person and I'm definitely not posting any pics tonight. {Too lazy.}

Anyway, I'm happy to announce that I've LOVED this week.

Odd, because Ronny's been gone.

Or is it odd?

LOL

Jk!!

No, but I really have been enjoying this week. Yes, I'm ready for Ronny to be home, and YES! I'm very excited to see him manana, but I've enjoyed almost every single second of the time I had alone with the boys.

...I've noticed how much Kai's grown up. He helps better and listens better. He's even been speaking NON-STOP Japanese to me. Which, to me is HUGE. It's what I grew up with, it's where my heart is-it's what I relate to, and so even if no one else speaks it around us and I'll admit that I really wonder what "good" it's doing to teach my kids this foreign language, it makes me immensely happy.

I've especially been enjoying watching Kai COLOR. He spent FOUR HOURS just coloring today! I couldn't believe it! Picture after picture, he just kept coloring!!

Maybe that's why, but I've also been more tolerant of little Jaiden. He also seems to have calmed down a bit more lately (can we say FINALLY?), becoming more willing, shall I say to be on my good side by being "good".

The other day, I saw something on TV (I think) that said there was a study done that showed that multitasking wasn't such a good idea anymore. The study further noted that those who were "in the moment" more, seemed to be "happier."

My dad once told me--"be 100% where you're at." or something like that (see dad? I don't always know what exactly you said, but I get the point and it sticks :) Point was, that I should always be not only physically, but mentally and emotionally where I was, all the time.

I was noticing that this week, somehow I was more laid back.

I didn't think about the next meal (well, I did but not as much as when Ronny's home :), or where I was going, or what I was going to do next.

As I spent countless hours of "floor time" with the kids and really delved into being with them during our "play" or "together" times, I noticed that the kids were different. I can't pin point exactly what it was, but it was sure different. They seemed more obedient, and I for sure felt more patience and LOVE.

Even super nanny said once; "give them 15 minutes of your time, and you'll be surprised that they'll leave you alone for a good while."

Anyway, my point was that I've been truly happy with my kids this week. I don't expect it to last forever, but I just wanted to record it so that I could remember it later on.

I enjoyed sitting with the kids and doing puzzles with them. I enjoyed seeing Kai's improvements and how he colored strictly in the lines. I enjoyed listening to him improve his vocabulary in Japanese. I enjoyed having Jaiden sitting on my lap and wanting me to tell him which puzzle pieces fit together, then putting them together himself.

I enjoyed cooking with them.

I enjoyed swimming at the local pool with them, going to the zoo and seeing the animals-teaching them what they were and talking about everything! Holding hands. Cuddling at night after reading them books. Eating with them and even watching "America's test kitchen" together while they repeated words that were new to them, like "transfer" and "150 degrees."

So maybe I've found the secret to it all, or maybe I've just finally understood what people have been telling me; "be where you're at" and "enjoy it while you can."

I've even been sad this week to think they'll soon be grown up and gone...

What is happening to me?! LOL

Just don't ask how my house looks. LOL

Hey, I've got one more day to clean before Ronny gets home! ;)

ps. I actually played tons with them, AND THEN asked them to help me clean a few times this week--they did A LOT BETTER when I did it this way--again, it could be the age that Kai's hitting (5) that he's growing up to be a big helper, but I want to believe that it's my attitude and how I changed to spending more quality time with them that's changed them too. Who really knows.

Check your Itinerary!

So Ronny left for Oakland, California for some training yesterday.

The kids and I took him to the airport and as we were pulling away, I got a call.

It was Ronny.

"Um, can you please come back? I'm at the wrong airport!"

So back we went and the kids were super confused!

"Is daddy going or not?"

Ronny called the military travel agent and in no time, got things figured out.

So back we went and he was off, again.

Several long hours later, I received a text from him.

"I'm in CA, going to find a cab and head to the hotel. I'll call you from the hotel."

Not more than five minutes later, I get another text from him.

"I'm an idiot...got off the plane...in San Diego...please don't tell anyone until I'm dead!"

Well, I'm happy to tell you that he's NOT dead, I just told him that I'd HAVE to blog about it, but I'd be nice enough to wait until today, a day later for him to recoup. Fair enough, he said, and well, I'm also happy to tell you that he got things figured out, and flew out to his real destination, Oakland, CA.

What happened was this:

he thought it was a straight flight from home to Oakland, CA. Didn't realize that there was a stop in San Diego, so when the plane landed in S.D., rather than sitting still, he got off. He walked out of the airport, called a cab and asked the driver "how much to my hotel in Oakland?" The Cabbie looked at him and said "well, it's about a 600mile drive, so...." that's when Ronny realized HUH!? and looked around only to see SAN DIEGO posted everywhere.

LOL.

A Present for Mama

9:05pm

I finally finish another long presidency meeting and tiredly walk upstairs.

I find Kai still up, just smiling at me.

As I go in to tuck him in for the night(once and for all), he whispers to me;

"mama, I have a present for you"

(all in Japanese)

me: "oh ya? How about I see it tomorrow?"

Kai: "ok, but it's on the couch :)" he said with a smile.

Curious to see what it was, and not wanting to let him down, I decided to go see what it could be. Usually, it's a drawing--or something made of legos, or...well, I was just thinking of the usuals--which are nice, of course, but I'm just letting you know what I was thinking.

When I turned the lights on in the loft and gazed over at the couch, I gasped. LITERALLY.

I had to think.

Did I do that?

no, did Ronny do that? No wait, he's in California...did I? No...

KAI!

I shouted.

but not in rage, but out of sheer shock.

I saw two neat piles of laundry....FOLDED.

I. C.O.U.L.D N.O.T B.E.L.I.E.V.E I.T.

Kai came shyly out of his room with a big smile on his face.

I don't even know why, but tears filled my eyes!

Shirts and pants were neatly and squarely folded, even the white socks were neatly folded and stacked on top of each other.

I just knelt right there on the floor and hugged the little man in my arms and thanked him.

He was so happy, that little proud face!

Boy.

What a neat little kid I have, huh?

Out of all the things he could have been doing tonight, or could have done for me, he must have thought; what would help my mom the most? I can only imagine that just then, he laid eyes on the mountain pile of clean laundry I quickly threw on the floor between meals, baths, bedtimes and Relief Society meetings, wondering when on earth I was ever going to find the time to get on my knees to fold them.

Oh, how I love this child! He just has the heart of an angel.

{picture to be posted later--too tired right now}

Road Trip to Utah July, 2011

Ronny and I decided to do a road trip this summer to Utah.

There was no reason for it, just wanted to go somewhere. So, Utah it was.

We drove through endless desert from Houston through, Fort worth, Amarillo, Albuquerque NM, Colorado, then Salem, Utah! We listened to kids songs by "They Might Be Giants" and audio books and read alongs for kids.

In Utah, we saw friends and family. My family lives in Salem: Lee (Jiji), Erika (Abby), Alana, Grace and Kaylee Richan.

Ronny's family had a nephew blessed; Johnny Sampert.

We saw the Jeppsens, Bob and Cathy, uncle Jared and Nana and Papa Sampert.

We celebrated Ronny's 29th Birthday at Provo Canyon doing a dutch oven dinner.

Ronny and I were able to go and meet up with our mission president Brad Wilcox and his family and listen to two of his speeches to the youth group up in Heber and to adults at BYU devotional.

We met up with Slater, my mission companion who I LOVE! and met up with an old high school friend and her now family, Jen Noble where we had a DELICIOUS breakfast by Jen. (Thanks!!) We were able to meet up with the Talbots just once and have some shaved ice, and even got to go back to the kid's favorite museum--the Dinosaur museum in Thanksgiving point where they enjoyed running around and learning new things, like how electricity is made.

On our way home, we stopped in Moab to see the arches National Park. We began the 3mile hike to see the delicate arch, only to realize about 1.5mile into it that not only was it HOT, it was near impossible to carry two boys on your back and hike (Ronny did the carrying, I just griped about it the whole way) and so turned around.

By night time, we had driven about 16 hours and so stopped at a little motel outside of Albuquerque for the night. Not more than 30min. into our stay there, Jaiden who was jumping on the bed fell, cracked his head open and well, we had to drive back the way we came from 30min. to the nearest ER room where he received 7 stitches.

We continued our trip the next day and arrived home safely. Although we go crazy during the trip, it's always fun to think back on the trip and remember the fun times we had, being stuck in the car together. The kids are still singing all the silly songs we learned in the car.

Voice of the Spirit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPbDZnrxBLM&feature=player_embedded

Sisters in Zion---Visiting Teaching

Speaking of testimonies and hear warming things, I just wanted to journal about the other day.

I was on my way to someplace when I passed a friend's house.

In front of her house was a parked gray car.

I thought;

When I realized who's car it was, I thought;

"Oh, Wendie's over there."

And then it dawned on me that Wendie was doing her visiting teaching.

For those of you who don't know what visiting teaching is, it's kind of a like a "buddy system" in the church where the women are paired into a companionship and they have a few sisters they go and visit each month. They share a spiritual message and become friends with those they are assigned to serve. It's a really great program and I've often found my best friends through it.

As I drove past the house realizing three women (a companionship visiting with her sister) were in that home, an overwhelming feeling came over me of...pride, of happiness, of gratitude. It's quite indescribable really, all the powerful feelings I felt.

I knew that Wendie had a little girl who had just turned one and that she had a life of her own. I knew that her companion also had a life of her own, a quite busy one actually. And yet, they were together, visiting this sister in her home to love and care for, and to share an uplifting message with her.

I was grateful to them.

Then, I received several other calls and comments about how happy a sister was because they had either gone to visit their sisters, or that they themselves had received a personal phone call or a visit. I actually was motivated by Wendie to do my own Visiting Teaching. As I called my sister and asked her when my companion and I could come and visit her, she squealed and laughed, "I'm actually going out right now to do MY visiting teaching!" We laughed together, knowing that we were both doing the Lord's work. It felt good.

The ones visiting others glowed with pride, and the ones being visited beamed with happiness. They knew they were loved and cared by someone.

Then I thought,

If I, really a no body could feel THIS happy and proud and THANKFUL for these sisters carrying about the Lord's work in this way, how happy and proud and grateful our Father in Heaven must feel...

I truly love our sisters. This calling to be their leaders has been a great challenge. And yet, it's times like these that I sit here, just in awe and overwhelmed by gratitude for what they do...and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for allowing such a person as I to be permitted to serve these sisters who are teaching me so much. The love I feel for them is immense, and I am grateful I am given this time to see each one of them through the Eyes of their Creator, as He would see them.

This is my testimony

I had a stranger write me an email the other day.

Oh no

I thought.

Here we go again, someone was offended by my blog.

I thought.

It began;

"Stumbled upon your blog"

Hey!! My name is D. and today I was searching in google for people who "talked to God" and I came onto your blog post that was written yesterday about your adorable boy. I have been having a really hard time lately struggling with anxiety and depression and I ask God in prayer to guide me. I am not LDS but I believe in a higher power and I am eager to go on the path that God has laid out for me. I'm sorry if this is out of the blue but I want to ask you how you stay so strong in your faith. I've been reading through your blog and you are such an inspiration! I truly look up to as a role model :)

Thank you and God bless,

D.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

It wasn't a hate email, quiet the contrary, it was heart warming!

I was excited and grateful this D. person would write such nice things.

So I wrote her back.

The next day, I received another email from D.

"Thank you so much for responding. I'm actually investigating the LDS church now because I absolutely love what they teach. I just hope that God can give me a testimony that would strengthen my faith. If you don't mind me asking, can you share your testimony?"

My testimony?

You want to hear MY testimony?

It's not everyday that someone asks me to share my testimony.

Although I walk around each day feeling like I've got my testimony in my heart, it was a rather tough thing to put it into words on paper.

Dear D.,

Where do I even begin? My testimony actually is quite simple...I've never had a loud and clear THIS IS IT!! kind of an answer...no trumpet sounding, no visitations of angels...it's always been a quiet and subtle, but undeniable feeling-like a burning in my heart. A feeling like..."what's there to lose anyway?" My parents were converts when they were teenagers (people who joined the church at some point in their life, rather than be born into it), which means that I was born into the church. They raised me and I always grew up close to the church and it's teachings. I went to school surrounded by many members and always felt that I knew that the church was true. In junior high though, my friends started to choose other paths and decided to do what seemed like everyone else was doing, you know. They didn't go to church anymore and even began to make fun of the things we had all grown up believing in. That hurt me, but I had to make a decision too. Do I stay or do I let go too? I decided to stick it out. Then when I turned 21, I turned in my paper work to serve a full time mission. That was an unforgettable experience in and of itself, but when I came home to the states, I found out that my family had fallen away from the church. I didn't understand. How could this be? Still, I decided to stay strong and hold on to what I had always believed in. I think it's evident in people's lives when they don't believe in something higher, like they've lost that spark in their eyes or glow around them. I've had to pray for myself from time to time to know for myself whether or not this church is true. The answer rarely ever comes fast or as strongly as I would like, but like I said before, it is always a quiet peaceful feeling I get, and the thought of "what is there to lose by following its teachings?" I know that I'm the happiest that I can be and the best person I can be by trying to live the gospel each day. It's never an easy thing to do, but it's sure worth it. As you can see, my testimony is a simple one, but one that has kept me anchored throughout my life.

I wrote it and realized how simple my testimony really was.

Nothing fantastic to brag about, nothing to rave about, I just always knew. That doesn't mean that I've never prayed...I have; many times.

Sometimes, the simple things are what we hold on to and many times, it's by simple things that the Lord moves mountains.

Really though, what is there to lose by living the gospel?

Thanks D. for this opportunity to share what I love most, this gospel of Jesus Christ.

The young and the Old

Jaiden's fears as of late.

GHOSTS

Kai's fears as of late.

"growing a BIG belly."

Today, we had sis. Beulah over from the branch. I helped her do her RS calling for a bit and then we played. Well, the kids played with her mostly. I just sat back, relaxed and watched Beulah and my boys interact. I just can't help but think that the Lord really likes to see the young and the old playing together. There's so much beauty in that.

Today's lesson by Beulah was "TEETH"

Jaiden, who spotted Beulah with NO teeth when she arrived, was mesmerized and asked to see her "teeth." To that, the rather large JOLLY woman in her sixties laughed so hard, I literally thought she'd fall out of her chair. She was in tears from laughing so hard. She pulled out her dentures from her rather dingy looking bag and clanked the pink and white plastic together.

DID IT HAVE BOTH MY BOY'S ATTENTION?

You betcha.

{So that's all it takes to get their attention?!}

They sat there open mouthed, just watching Beulah as she clasped the upper and lower sets of teeth in her big hands.

"Brush your teeth, boys! Brush 'em goooood."

she said.

I think that message was clear.

LOL

Anyway, Beulah and the kids had other moments and I just enjoyed listening to her big hearty laughs, as well as the little children's tiny and happy giggles.

Beulah thanked me over and over for the time she was given to spend with us.

I thanked her too, for being here with us.

You see, once upon a time, Beulah had a son too, but he was "taken home."

Beulah admitted that it does her good to spend time with these boys and how she just hates sitting her home alone sometimes, because her mind takes her to "dark places."

What a neat thing it has been for us to be able to spend this time together. The young and the old, and then there's me, just watching and feeling the love that can be felt when there are two generations of people with no commonalities between them. They simply enjoy each other for what they have to offer. The old, their wisdom and experiences to the young, and the young, their vibrant energy and unconditional love for the old. Then there's me, sometimes unable to enjoy the day to day hustle and bustle and all the crazy chaotic life I'm in, but somehow, when I sat there listening and watching the three of them play together, I was reminded of the verse:

The hearts of the fathers will be turned to their children, and their children's hearts will be turned to their fathers.

And so it was today, in my humble abode.

The Child who Talked with God.

It's 1am.

My eyes barely see through its slits, my eyelids are so very heavy.

I think I hear a door creak open and I'm quickly dragged out of my dreams.

A little shadow comes drifting my way.

"Mama? Wanna 'snuggle buggle?'"

the little figure says.

Really?! Is this really happening?!

"NO!!"

I say.

"get back into bed!"

I can't believe it.

{I am very cranky at night, esp. if I'm woken up and don't know what's going on}

The little man walks out, but begins to sniffle.

I get out of bed, realizing slowly what I have done.

Uuuugh.

{insert attitude}

I take Kai by the hand and walk him to the potty where the jet stream shoots out into the white bowl and makes tiny bubbles.

I'm impressed.

Right,

"now let's get to bed."

I carry the little munchkin back to bed and lay him down.

"I'm scared."

he says.

"don't be scared."

I retort.

"now goodnight."

I leave the door a crack open.

Back into my sheets, I roll around trying to find the perfect spot.

Ah yes, there it is; now where was I.

My thoughts begin to drift away slowly.

Clink. Clank! Smash!

Mysterious but joyous sounds come from the room next door.

Now my husband's upset.

He's storming out the bedroom.

"don't get too....."

he doesn't hear me.

He comes back, huffing and puffing after tucking the little dude in bed once and for all.

{He's also not a very nice guy when he's awoken suddenly!}

YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK, KIDS.

That should be it.

We tell ourselves, and wander off again into dreamland.

The clouds...birthday parties...weird bearded people...wizards and aliens...

Suddenly, I hear LOUD TALKING.

No. NOo. NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO!!!

Oh no....

I fear for the worse.

Ronny's FURIOUS now and flies through the door and into the corridor.

I hold my breath for the madness to be unleashed.

{folks, he's not going to hurt the darn thing, no worries}

Suddenly, I can hear two distinctive things go down.

I hear my husband actually stop dead in his tracks.

It's an odd thing, but you CAN hear that.

The other voice continues to talk very loud.

Then, all goes silent.

Ronny walks quietly back into the room and grabs his pillow and begins to walk out again, this time as if something came over him.

"Where are you going? What happened?"

What just went down?

I stop him.

"He's... talking to 'Heavenly Father'..."

The man who had just flew out the door furious from being woken up said quietly.

"I'm going to go lay down with him."

The clock now flickered the bright neon '2am.'

And there you have it.

His parents shushed by the humbleness of the little child who felt the need to wake up at 1am to talk to his Creator.