Sampert Family 2011

The best in-laws ever.

A few of the things I love these days...

My kids are adorable WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING! ha.

It makes me think of how much I miss them. am I INSANE!?

I do though.

Lately, as much as my kids drive me up the wazoo, I can't help but laugh and smile and have my heart melt to be with them everyday.

Here are just a few things I love about the things we do each day

Kai comes in every morning to "snuggle buggle" with me in my bed

When I unlock Jaiden's door (it's locked from our side!) and he gives me a big hug on my leg when he comes out

Breakfast chaos

our scripture devotional and how we sing primary songs and how intently they listen to both the book of mormon and bible stories

how Kai does his morning chores and gets proud and wants to show me what he did

how much my boys are growing

Kai learning his Japanese letters and reading

jaiden going potty and washing his hands on his own

eating lunch together--it's probably one of my favorite time. We eat japanese food and watch japanese kid shows (old tales) on youtube. I love watching Kai use his chopsticks! It gives me hope that someday, we'll all get to go home...

I love it when the boys are kind to each other.

I love that the boys love to cook with me

I love kai's little smile

I love jaiden's laughs

sitting on them to tickle them

night time kisses and hugs

the list goes on and on...

I love being their mom!

Self-reliance. I feel so alone.

I've always been the type of person to admire strength in self reliance.

I've also always admired people who showed tough love, in the name of helping those around them become self-reliant.

I try to be that kind of a mother to my own children.

Do what you need to without being told a million times.

Dress on your own,

KNOW HOW to prepare your own food. (I let the kids make their own lunches/breakfast sometimes. Anything can happen. I want my kids to be able to feed themselves if needs be)

I plan very well to teach both my boys how to IRON, COOK, DO LAUNDRY, CLEAN, etc. Not only "to know how to do this on their missions," but because that's what I know would help them in their lives.

But to be the instigator of tough love, to be the one to promote what seems like a "self-reliance" goal is tough.

I've been struggling.

Our branch has been struggling.

The people who come into our branche struggle.

I've been in this branch long enough to start seeing a pattern.

One of the biggest challenge we have is that hardly anyone has a vehicle. Not too many members have transportation. So when someone shows up and HAS a car, they are tasked with picking and dropping people off to and from church. Some make THREE trips to get our members to and from church.

Great?

Is it Sacrifice?

I'm not so sure anymore.

Investigators are being picked up from the time they commit with the missionaries to go to church.

Great?

Not a big deal?

I beg to differ.

When one stops to think about the needs of this branch and why it's a "give me give me" branch (please forgive me because I DO know there are also angels among us in this branch), one can't help but notice it might just be that WE are the ones at fault. The culprit of it all.

Giving rides maybe a harmless act of kindness.

But when it is expected or becomes a handicap to those who await for it, that's what I have a problem with, and that's when I see a big problem.

Our missionaries ask the few members with cars to pick up investigators. While it's great to have them come to church, somehow (don't ask me how) the investigators become real used to it. Then they are baptized, and they are still asking for rides. In fact, they've never come to church on their own. Still a great sacrifice for the members to make to pick them up? What about when the ride gets sick? How about when they're tight to buy gas? The new members suddenly aren't coming to church any more and we have lost many this way.

It's not just the rides. People are expecting the church to give them not only rides, but food, transportation to various places, to give them things, to pay their rent and bills....the list goes on. When it isn't given, they come at night to the building and break in.

I am tormented.

The little I could do was to recently announce that Relief Society would stop giving rides--at least to the sisters. I expect them to be stronger.

"Unless the sister is physically unable to use the city's metro system or get her own ride by some other method, I expect each sister to find their own rides to church."

I said.

I immediately became the bad guy.

I feel like I fight against my own to promote this idea. It's been lonely and hard.

I feel they look at me as this cruel heartless new president who doesn't care one bit about the sisters.

HOW COULD YOU. they think.

So heartless. they say.

But then, things like this happen;

I received one call recently.

"I'm going to ride the metro system to church! I called them and set it all up myself!"

she said.

Bless her heart, she was the one "physically unable" sister I was talking about. I excused her from this "no rides" policy and here she was calling me to tell me she was going to get her own ride.

I almost cried.

She was thrilled.

She was beaming with pride.

I wanted to bottle her sense of accomplishment and show it to the branch.

I'm the first to tell you that when God's children are able to ACCOMPLISH something on their own, not relying on other's as a crutch, they BEAM. They GLOW. I have children, I know.

I admire prophets of old such as Joseph Smith and Brigham Young who sought after goals that would NOT ONLY benefit the HERE AND NOW members, but their ancestors and descendants and the future generations by building schools and communities that lasted not just during their life time, but for us. Think about the temples they sacrificed to build. Was it for them?

HA.

NO.

I loved my mission president for that.

His motto for himself and his missionaries was:

"today, in 20 years and forever."

to him, we weren't just his missionaries. To him, we would always be his.

What's so great about that?

He didn't just care for us while we were on the mission because he had to, but he cared for us during that time, and took the time to teach us things pertinent not only to the mission but also in 20 years. He said he wanted to know how we were in 20 years, and forever after that too.

He understood the grander vision of his calling to us.

I think that's one of the reasons why so many of us X-missionaries STILL go to him. We still write to him, visit him, converse with him and still love him and his family.

We had some new investigators at church today. Great sisters.

I noticed that they had gotten a ride to church.

I asked the sister missionaries "do we know of a bus route that they can use to get here?"

Their answer was this;

"well, they'd have to walk half a block and it's too hard with their 10 kids."

I looked back at the new people.

There were two sisters carrying one child each.

"Did all the 10 kids come today?"

I asked, not seeing anyone else.

"no, cuz they wouldn't all fit in the car."

Chew on that for a second.

So I asked again to see how they could get the whole family there, finding their own rides, not relying on the members, which by the way is our temporary ward senior couple missionary who's only going to be here until NOVEMBER.

COME ON PEOPLE, LET'S START THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE!!

not so much WHAT CAN I GIVE NOW AND ONLY NOW?

the sister missionary I was speaking with said again,

"well, they'd have to walk pretty far to get on the bus, plus there are no bus routes this early (church is at 8am)".

I left thinking so many things.

1. church isn't worth the time and effort to these new people

2. is it really best to leave most of your family home so YOU could go to church in the comfort of someone's car?

3. no bus systems before 8am? whoa. I wonder how anyone around here gets to their jobs!

It all boils down to:

1. do we need more members who come to this branch having already learned the art of receiving, expecting and wanting more?

Only if I could share what I see--the bigger picture with those who oppose me or can't seem to understand me in this journey of creating and teaching the members to become stronger...

If you're not strong....can you really help others?

If you're not self-reliant, can you reach out to others?

My heart aches with worry.

Not too many of us "strong" members are going to be here in this branch much longer.

HOW CAN WE BEST TEACH, GUIDE AND TRAIN THIS BRANCH TO STAND ON THEIR OWN TWO LEGS?!

If we keep this up, how is anyone going to get to church on their own in a few months when we're gone?

How's anyone going to know how to store food and create a menu within their financial means and budget?

If I didn't care about them, I'd say

GIVE GIVE GIVE

JUST GET THEM TO CHURCH HOWEVER NECESSARY! GIVE THEM FOOD! WHATEVER THEY NEED, GIVE IT ALL!

"I'll be gone in a year anyway."

{ps. good riddance!}

But I do. I do love and care for them.

That's the only reason I say BE STRONG, DO IT YOURSELF, AND WE'LL SEE YOU GLOW FOREVER.

My heart aches

My head hurts

but mostly because I feel so alone.

When you gotta go, you gotta go!

After our sacrament meeting today, we were told church was over.

"There's no AC upstairs, so we can't divide into our classes. Go home."

For years now, this branch has been meeting in a little 'home' on Sundays, then that got demolished so we have been meeting at the university's religion building for a few moths now.

After our sacrament meeting, we all headed rather light heartedly to our car.

Then suddenly, I stopped dead in my tracks.

My little Jaiden had his pants down in the middle of the parking lot.

{what!}

I thought.

then a stream of liquid shot out and it kept going.

{WHAT!}

I couldn't believe my eyes.

Right there in the middle of the parking lot, right in front of our little blue car, was our 3.5 year old son

urinating a jet stream as if nothing.

Ronny caught on quickly too, but we just stared at each other with open mouths.

We didn't want to yell or scream or chastise him with his pants down.

{His pants would get wet.}

All we could do was LAUGH.

Unbelievable!

we said.

Nothing like our eldest son, that's for sure.

Picture Chore Charts for Small Children (PreK)

Yelling at your kids is no fun.

Nor is repeating yourself MANY times for them to do simple routine tasks.

I want my kids to be PROUD of themselves.

I want them to be self-succient and INDEPENDENT.

And, the less I have to tell them what to do, the better.

So, I made up these picture chore charts.

It's been ONE DAY with these charts in certain places of the house, but lo and behold...

IT'S WORKED MIRACLES so far.

Kai came into my room this morning at 7am, already dressed for the day.

I went into his room later on and the bed was SUPER NEATLY MADE. Then I went downstairs and checked on the entry way.

NOT ONE PAIR OF SHOES OUT, it was immaculate.

I told Kai how proud I was of him.

A glowing smile

from ear to ear.

"Ya! I just looked at the chart and I did it!"

SUCCESS!

Although I take the liberty of writing JAPANESE wherever possible since Kai's been reading in Japanese, it's the idea that counts, I'll post some pictures anyway.

But.....I'm sad that the picture quality stinks...

The first picture is of the garage door--this is the door we go through to GO OUT anywhere.

I posted two signs.

"potty"

and

"put your shoes on"

Heaven knows how long these two things take for the kids and me having to yell at them to do each thing (times 2 kids) is just nuts.

I wanted to omit the chaos and frustration!

a better look at the two signs.

This is in their bathroom.

Signs say {night time routine: shower, pajamas, brush teeth, and potty}

Close up of 3 of the bathroom (night time) routine.

This is in Kai's bedroom. I put up the things he should do when he wakes up.

1. "morning routine" 2. change clothes 3. make bed 4. shoes=go downstairs and tidy up the entry way

Next is of our daily routine. The kids like to know what's next on the agenda during the day, so instead of not know what to say or being frustrated that they'd even ask, I made these with magnets on the back to stick them on the fridge.

Although we have days where we veer from the "routine", this is our typical agenda and I've noticed that the kids function better knowing "what's next."

We have:

breakfast

prayer, scripture study

chores--kai unloads the silverware from the dishwasher

play time

lunch

study time

QUIET TIME {read, play, build, etc}

dinner

Clean up toys

a better look at the daily routine chart

Hope this helps someone....it's working for us and I'm sure we'll eventually put up some type of a simple award system, but it's been SO nice not to have to yell or remind them millions of times of what they're to do. More importantly though, it's been priceless to watch their faces light up when they see that they can do things on their own, and how happy they get when they can make us happy and proud--I truly believe that children just live to please their parents-they are pleasers. The more opportunities we as parents can give our children to be proud and show them they can do things on their own, I believe we are teaching them to be self-motivating, goal oriented, independent adults!

How to do a Road Trip with small Children

I am proud to say that

WE SURVIVED 26 HOURS OF ROAD TRIP WITH TWO SMALL CHILDREN!

(that tops our 20+hours to AZ last year!)

Here's a few ideas of what we did.

{thanks for the help, people!}

1. make "busy bags"

put an activity in a brown bag and when kids get restless, I'd say "brown bag time!" and boy, were they ever excited! ie. stickers and a small note pad, suckers, small puzzles, little plastic bug toys, lego pieces in zip lock bag, bubbles we could crank up the AC and blast through the car, "no make mess magic marker" coloring packets I got at Walmart, etc.

2. Check out AUDIO READ ALONGS WITH CD included from the library.

I'd hold up the book so both the boys could see if and we'd listen to the CD. They loved it!

3. Check out silly children song CDs from the Library.

we LOVED "NO!" by They might be giants.

The kids were begging to hear them over and over again and Ronny and I didn't mind singing along and laughing with this CD! We love TMBG!

4. DVD time.

We took our laptop and hooked it up. This works great. We checked out a lot of educational DVDs from the library too, so they're not just watching brainless things.

5. Teaching time.

Ronny took a lot of time (whether he knew it or not) finding things out the window and pointing things out to the kids, explaining things. ie. we saw huge trucks carrying wings to a windmill. He explained what the pieces were as we drove past the trucks, and then whenever we saw windmill farms, he'd take the time to point out what they were and how they worked.

6. Educational CDs

We checked out "learning Japanese with songs" cds from the library as well and the kids (and ronny) had "japanese" time.

7. don't forget Snack time! Have both healthy and unhealthy snacks! :)

8. When stopping to eat, choose a place where the kids can run around.

We had a lot of picnics--didn't spend much on eating out, so we chose grassy open fields and most even had sprinklers so we played and had the kids run around before we got back in the car.

9. Listen to your kids.

This is a great time to ask your children what's on their mind. What have they been thinking about, what's their favorite things as of late...etc. They will love the closeness they will feel as you have nothing else to do but to listen! :)

10. Enjoy the time you have together!

It can be REALLY fun, I promise!

Things to do to cut cost while traveling:

so we traveled 26+ hours, drove two days.

Here's what we had to pay for while on the road.

GAS, FOOD AND LODGING

Obviously, if you have people you know along the way that you could stop and stay at, GREAT! but if you don't, here's a few things you can do to save a bit.

FOOD

1. pack your meals.

Breakfast: choose hotels that provide breakfasts.

1. the first morning we left, I had chopped up fruits (rasperries, mangos, bananas, strawberries, apples, etc) in a throwaway tupperware (I keep those butter, Sour cream, and any store containers) and had yogurt and cereal to pour over them. Give them a spoon and when you're done, you can throw everything away!

3.Take a water heater and packets of oatmeal with plastic bowls and bananas or other fruits.

4. how about pastries?

Lunch:

1. we took a packet of ham, cheese and a loaf of bread with chips and chopped fruits and homemade candied nuts and had picnics. One time, we found a random LDS temple so we stopped there and ate at the grounds.

2, Buy delicious breads to spice your sandwiches up, and I promise it will still be cheaper than eating out!

Dinner:

you can either have another sandwich.

We also had 28cent cup a noodles and used our water heater in the hotel to boil water and eat with sandwiches.

or use their microwave to heat up canned goods.

I also took my rice cooker and cooked some rice and had instant packets of soup. We had plans to stop in somewhere and get a plate of fried chicken or entrees from panda express, but we didn't.

This is a much healthier and CHEAPER alternative to eating out!

Snacks:

slice apples and bag them. (don't forget to salt/lemon juice them so they don't brown)

string cheese/cubed cheese from home

yogurt

granola

homemade candied nuts

fruit snacks

ritz/crackers with spreadable cheese

craisins/raisins/dried fruit

cookies

criossant with nutella

etc

and don't forget to pack your cooler (freeze if you can and that can be your ice) full of water bottles and juices. Gas stations will charge you an arm and a leg for them!

LODGING:

since we don't like to make reservations because we like to drive drive and keep driving and never know when we decide "that's it for today," we use the "walk in and bargain" method.

Ask if the hotel has spare rooms.

ask them what their regular rate is.

ask them what their best offer to you is.

ask them; "is that your best?"

if you don't like that offer, tell them you have $$$ in cash.

They usually will budge :)

Although we weren't completely satisfied with the price, (actually, it was less than what we had budgeted for so I don't know why I'm still complaining) we had a decent room that normally costs $99 (fridge and microwave and two king beds) for $62.

Not bad.

In the end, we always feel like we MISS the time spent together and the kids are soon asking "can we do another road trip please!?" actually, I find myself asking the same thing too....

Enjoy the time you're STUCK together! :)

Can we say NEVER ENDING!? :)

Kai being silly as always

Jaiden's a MESS!!!!

(don't forget the WIPES!)

We had a pet lizard for Kai in the car---this is Kai's pet climbing him while picnicking for lunch)

"Mother, I'm sorry I was born."

My newest goal:

to become a PIE MASTER!

I'm so excited.

I don't bake well.

So I made my mind up that I'd bake until I'm an expert.

Did you know that Pie crusts can be made so many different ways?! I'm going to attempt to make it with VODKA! I hear it's awesome. We'll see. I tend to make "awesome" baked goods not so awesome.

Anyway, back to my original thoughts.

I've been reading a book. I got it in Japan and it's about a child/(ren) who is severely disabled.

The book is written after the child has moved on at age 15, by his teacher.

I'm so touched.

{Life can be so different in Japan.}

Parents can feel it a curse to have such a child born into their family, like they themselves or their ancestors had done something wrong to deserve it. Next, they are likely to fester the thought and actually be a step away from jumping in front of a train or into the deep waters to end both the parent's and the child's lives, simply because life is hard for them with a disabled child.

I sit here in awe as I read this book. Tears wet my clothes and I had to resort to wiping them on Ronny last night.

This book depicts both the challenges and the DESIRE to live of the parents and this child.

This child was barely accepted into handicap school because of his severe handicap. He can hardly do anything on his own. And yet, this teacher finds the glitter in his eyes and will to live and do everything other children do in this child's life.

I think back to my life.

Jaiden was going to be the child in this book.

Tears fill my eyes. NOT because I "dodged" a big bullet of challenge, but because I felt as though I could understand a 1/100 of this family's sentiments.

I know what it was like to find myself in the darkness of my own head, thinking 'how much easier would it be to not have this child in our family...' awful? yes, but unless you've been in those types of situations where every second is a matter of life or death and your world has stopped and gone to mad land, you wouldn't know. The stress and exhaustion compromises your very sanity and for a moment or a while, you wished it were all different.

I also remembered Dr. Webb (name has been changed)'s advice to let him go "because the worth of his life would be nothing," after promising us that Jaiden would be nothing but a sponge.

These children might be a vegetable on the outside, but their minds are so full of life.

There was a story in the book where a mother is wheeling her young son and herself out to the train tracks. She says she pushed the wheel chair from behind as if being possessed. All that was in her head were the cruel comments, the glares, the looks, the whispers and the challenges that faced her each day, each moment of the day from those who surround her and her disabled child. As she neared the spot of plotted death, her son, having detected danger turned his unwilling head towards her and got out the words, "mom, what are you doing?"

Still walking as though she were asleep with eyes open, she responded;

"you know son, life is nothing but sadness and misery. if we just ended it now, we'll be happier."

to that, the child quietly replied, though struggling some to communicate;

"mom, if you want to die, you'll need to do it on your own. I have so much to live for, I want to do so much more."

At that moment, the mother says it was as though she was punched right in the face.

She had a son, and though the quality of his life was questionable to others, that son wanted to live.

He was not her, and she didn't have that right to take away his life.

I thought back again about the decision being placed upon me and Ronny.

To let Jaiden live or to not.

The decision was ours.

The doctors told us "pull the plug, it's for the best."

Still, something held me back.

We watched Jaiden from the glass incubator.

He fought for every breath.

EVERY SINGLE BREATH.

Though his lungs failed him, though he couldn't even breath on his own,

he fought.

HE FOUGHT!

We'll have a vegetable for a son, we said.

But nonetheless, he is ours, and will always be ours.

Let him live.

LET HIM LIVE!

How glorious it is to live.

We may take it for granted at times, but those who are not able to live as freely as us seem to understand the price it takes to LIVE.

The weight of refinement.

So I just had some peaches from Costco with sugar and Japanese rice crackers that my mom sent me.

Ahh,

Heaven...

Well, I'm bummed.

I'm confused.

I just have a lot on my plate right now and I need strength beyond my own.

I am a daughter of God.

{have personal prayers, personal scripture study, and hey, shower, make up and blow dried hair would be nice once in a while!}

I am a wife.

{wake up and eat breakfast with my husband (there's an idea), look pretty, and say and do nice things for him each day, cook nice meals}

I am a mother.

{feed, change, potty train, read scriptures, teach Japanese, English, teach to clean, talk nice, play nice, make beds, play nice with others, have play dates, discipline, read books}

I am a homemaker.

{Cook nutritious and wholesome meals without breaking the bank, budget, pay bills, clean the house, prepare for emergencies (hurricane), do food storage, do laundry, to-d0 lists, Dr's appts., learn to can, be a chauffeur}

I am a friend.

{how can I help you today? send out birthday cards and wishes, shop for baby gifts, and write emails}

and last but not least,

I am the Relief Society President at the Sunnyside branch.

I love life and I love being busy. I love all my blessings and I love each and every breath I am given.

But seriously, I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.

So many decisions to make, so many phone calls to make. So many meetings to attend and conduct, so many hands to fill, so many souls to feed.

(well, I do have a lot of help from my wonderful counselors and other members of the branch)

I don't claim to know it all or even do it all.

but HOW DOES ANYONE DO IT ALL?!

I'm definitely feeling the weight of what my Heavenly Father would have me do...

{which I know is a good thing-hard times require us to become humble}

I try to simplify my life the best I can.

Still, even "simple" tasks such as cleaning or folding laundry becomes nearly impossible with these boys running around. How do I enjoy my time with them and still be able to accomplish all that the Lord would have me do right now?

Is quitting an option?

I gave my word to serve to the best of my abilities and to dedicate this time to our dear family friend Karla England. For her, I must press on!

{Pray for me please.}

art by Greg Olsen

ER Trip

So there we were, tired from our 14+ hour drive from Utah to Albuquerque, NM last night.

We found a motel to spend the night in and were winding down from the trip, getting ready for our next 13+ hour drive the following day.

We bathed the kids and had a simple dinner together.

Next thing we know, Jaiden was flying through the air and for those who know him, let me add that he was flying through space, IRON MAN style...except rather than floating freely through nothing, he was plummeting down to the floor.

CRASH!

A loud bang, and then redness filled our eyes. Jaiden, who was trying to jump from bed to bed and had missed the 2nd bed, had fallen to the floor only to hit his head on the night stand ledge.

It was a SHARP ledge.

I don't do blood.

I can't do blood.

I began to cry.

Yes, I was crying along side Jaiden!

What a great help I was. I just couldn't stand to think my baby hurt.

I was just lucky that Ronny was around to help.

We called the front desk but they told us the nearest hospital was 30 minutes away.

30 MINUTES AWAY!??!

I about died.

We headed back towards the way we had come from and rushed the bleeding guy in there.

Now, you'd THINK that Jaiden would have been quieted from this incident.

You'd assume he would have been scared...freaked out...cuddly and sweet and wanting to be held...

NO.

Remember, this is JAIDEN we're talking about.

Ronny and I BEGGED the Dr's to sedate him for the suture.

No luck there. Ronny and I had to hold the little punk down with all our might while the attending nurse gave him 7 stiches in the noggin.

Ronny sang to him;

"5 little monkeys jumping on the bed...Jaiden, do we jump on the bed?"

he asked.

"No no, NAUGHTY NAUGHTY!" Jaiden wagged his little index finger.

Did he really learn his lesson? Who knows. My guess as his mother of almost four years is an astounding NO.

But can I hope?

yes,

and I have to.

This little guy never ceases to amaze me with the trouble and grief he gives me/us.

But do we love him? Yes we do.

Slater Blater

My heart is full tonight.

We have been in Utah and it's just been a blast, but not because we go here and there or see him or her.

It's nights like tonight where I get to hang out with one of my very favorite mission companions to reminisce about the time we spent together in a far far away land.

As we chuckled and talked about all the crazy people we met, we also remembered the wonderful people we taught.

I think my companion who I still call "slater" said (I don't remember exact words because it was passed midnight!) something about the unconditional love we learn to have for these people as missionaries.

Strangers at first, close than friends in no time.

The mission wasn't "our payment" to God.

It was God's gift to us.

As Slater and I sat there laughing and remembering both the sweet and crazy people we had met, memories came flooding back to us and all we wanted to do was walk up and down those streets again. We realized that we still loved these people after almost 10 years of living our own lives back here. We still cared for them, we still loved them.

How are they doing?

What are they doing?

Are they happy?

Did they hear anything we tried to teach them?

OH, what I would GIVE! to walk those streets again with Slater....

What I'd give to see my Chilean brothers and sisters again!

Thanks Slater for tonight.