My Boys

Oh! How I love my boys.

I just loved them so much.

I love them so much I could eat them!! :)

(I always tell them that and nibble on their little chicken legs and arms- they giggle and laugh so hard!)

The time spent with them is so precious.

I want to do better at remembering that.

I saw a clip on mormon.org/people today in Relief Society class.

It was about a mother who had lost her 5 year old son to a sledding accident.

UNFATHOMABLE.

I thought long and hard about that. Actually, I think a lot about my children dying.

It helps me not take for granted the time that I do have with them, it helps me try to live with no regrets.

Am I listening to them?

Am I looking at them while they talk?

Am I saying enough "I love you's"?

Am I showing them how much I care?

And I thought.

I need to start thinking differently than "unfathomable".

No one can ever tell me that my children wouldn't be taken from me tomorrow.

What I need to remember though, is that my children are just being lent to me.

They are not mine yet.

Not only do I need to live to be worthy of them, I need to deserve them.

They are still Heavenly Father's, and I need to remember that.

The Lord could call them home at anytime, but I need to have confidence that He is in charge.

I hope and pray that something so tragic and devastating would NEVER....I repeat, NEVER come knocking on my door, but should it, I hope I will remember that my children still belong to Heavenly Father.

I will live worthy of them, to be able to be a "forever family."

I love you, Kai and Jaiden. I love you so much.