Feb 18th, 2011. The day's not even over...

I always get these days when I try my best to BE GOOD and BE BETTER.

WHY IS THAT?!

A prayer to be a better mother, and a renewed sense of "I'm going to be better" just invites

BAD JU-JU.

I should quit it.

Anyway, it's only 1:10pm on Feb. 18th, 2011 and I'm gonna tell you right now, it's not been a good one so far.

And you KNOW I had to have had started the day with the best of attitude too; why?

'CUZ IT'S A "FREAKIN' FANTASTIC FRIDAY!"

nothing breaks my spirit on Fridays...

except this.

5:00am: I hear CHEERFUL children giggling in their room.

Um, excuse me, where's the "OFF until it's light outside" switch?

My kids didn't come with one of those.

of course, cheerful noises may start out all cute in the beginning (of course, at 5am, NOTHING is cute), but it gradually gets LOUDER AND LOUDER.

Banging pots, blowing whistles, jumping beds, honking horns, crashing heads and finally, screams and cries.

It's only 5:05am.

shoot me.

Somehow though, I fall back asleep and woke up only to hear Ronny's bike leaving for work...or was that yesterday that I heard it in the distance??

(i know, I'm a stellar wife)

I've managed to learn to block kiddy sounds in the mornings. Ok, fine, correction: I've learned to block out ALMOST all kid sounds. Helps keep sane longer this way, trust me.

Screams, shouts, cries, thumps, murders, you name it, I can sleep through it.

Of course, these all have consequences.

When I finally came to my senses at 7am, I found:

a bag of sugar opened with sugar everywhere.

OH but wait! The child (hmm...Jaiden?) graciously found a spoon to dip into the bag. He was using his manners! (chop!)

fish food flakes (bright red mind you) ALL OVER the carpet.

OH, but Jaiden also was trying to clean it up, BY EATING IT!!

It was all over his face. Very incriminating when I was investigating who had done it.

(chop chop!!)

then the Candies...AHH the M&M Candies.

It's fun when Mom's sleeping, why, it's a candy buffet around here at our place!

and, Ronny and I had recently rolled up about $90 worth of coins in those nifty little coin rolls and what do I find scattered on my desk?

Why not!? It's fun to rip open neatly rolled up coins and see all the pennies slide out of them! It would make anyone feel rich!

Cereals boxes opened and frosted flake cereal crumbs all embedded into the carpet.

Let me warn you, those things can get rather sharp when broken in half and STEPPED ON.

(chop! chop! choke around the neck!)

Here, I will pause and count my blessing.

There was no POOP or any other types of feces involved.

{Thank you.}

Then Kai was jumping around and almost snapped the laptop's screen backwards in half, Jaiden bonked Kai on the head and sent him screaming and crying, then Jaiden wanted food so he began whining, then milk was spilled and CANDY, TREATS, AND ALL OF THE ABOVE were wanted ALL AT THE SAME TIME while I tried to clean up messes and get breakfast on the table while showering, trying to get ready for the day, dressing the kids and putting contacts in Jaiden's eyes.

{Where's my award??}

Why is it that most days, I can calmly handle the same types of situations, but other days, it's a day from HELL?

So we finally manage to get out of the door with Jaiden screaming his head off because I didn't allow him to take his BALL, ROBOT, TWO CARS, HIS FROGGY BOOTS, AND "BONE GLOVES". What's even better is the sound the car door makes when it flies open, almost snapping it backwards because a child managed to open the door while we flew down the street. Kai was "just trying to re-close it."

Is the day over yet?!

Oh, right, it's only 9:00am. HOORAY.

First destination, HOBBY LOBBY. objective?

GET IN, DO A RETURN, AND ABSOLUTELY NO LOLLY-GAGGING, GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE.

What actually happened?

Before I could even get into the sliding doors of this craft heaven, Jaiden has another melt down.

What was it even about? I don't remember. Does it even matter? It was a freaking meltdown!

Throwing his tiny body out on the ground, Jaiden almost makes a lady behind us TRIP as she walked. As she skidded and skipped above Jaiden who was oblivious to how the world is not just about him, the lady muttered a few curse words and glared at me.

I was sorry...until then. Now I kind of would have liked to seen her fall!

hm.

I picked Jaiden up and as CALMLY as possible (trust me, there was no CALMNESS in my heart or eyes) sat him up on a chair "for sale" in the lobby of the store and tried the magical talk. ("don't ever do it again, child!")

After a firm talk and lots of tears (my tears were invisible, but trust me, there were rivers of them), I got him down and we walked in. I was trying to be hopeful for a change of heart on his part. After all, Super nanny swears by the magical talks.

HA-HA.

Another tantrum.

I picked him up and held him tightly in my arms.

It was all I could do to restrain myself from banishing his little soul from this life.

ALL EYES WERE UPON ME AND I COULD FEEL THE ANGER, no, WRATH OOZING--no, POURING out of me. No joke. And I could tell everyone around me felt it too.

(p.s. why are people SO NICE to you when you're this mad?! Try it sometime! Customer service is great!)

But I couldn't tell if they were eyes of "pity," or "whoa, I better be nice to her," or "you devil mother!" It felt more like the judge-y kind where they think you're the most horrible mother for holding your child down "psycho straight jacket style" while he continues to lash his head around and scream. I just chose not to say ANYTHING to him, just stood there with my muscles wrapped around him. Muscles I've been acquiring since last month when I signed up and became a proud gym member.

Thank you, thank you.

But wait! Where's Kai?!

Oh ya, touching everything possible around at the register.

"mama! Look at this! Whoa! I want this for Christmas!"

I like being able to speak in Japanese to the kids.

"Get over here and don't you dare touch that or else!!!....."

Then, it happened.

The man (who looked like the shift manager) in a Jewish Kippah, whipped around the corner and began blabbering something to me. "what a weirdo. What's going on now?!" I thought. When I finally listened in because he kept going on and on about something WITH A SMILE, I realized he had been speaking to me in JAPANESE! Well, ya...

"Konnichiwa! Hajimemashite! Bokuno namae wa......."

(Hello and nice to meet you! My name is....)

Really!?

I just smiled a fake smile and nodded while I continued to fight Jaiden.

This man was obviously VERY happy to be trying his Japanese skills on me. He was radiant while I still loomed in darkness with Jaiden.

(a note to Jaiden here: Jaiden, oh jaiden, I know you had to be strong to survive your first few months here on this earth, but really, you can give it up now. I'd very much appreciate a good karma go-around since I did kind of decide to keep you alive. true story)

I get a lot of "COOL!" and "oooh's" when people either find out that i'm Japanese, or hear me speak it to my kids, but sometimes I get the weirdest people do what this tiny hat man was doing to me at this very INSANE moment.

obviously, this little dude's parents never taught him things like:

look around your surroundings. observe, THINK and then act.

A mother holding her psycho strength toddler who's about to break down and cry in the middle of craft heaven IS NOT THE TIME TO SHOW OFF YOUR JAPANESE SKILLS.

I was NOT impressed.

But afterwards, realized how funny it was and cracked up back in the car.

you gotta love 'em.

The little Kippah on his head and all.

then we had another adventure at the bank depositing monies, and of course, at the gym, but I'll spare you the details.

The day hasn't ended, nor do I expect it to. Why, it's only 1:40pm. I would expect now to go back upstairs where the kids are supposed to be napping, only to find poopy Jaiden just bouncing up and down on the bed (although I cannot hear him...loud music and brain power to block out noises helps) and Kai hiding out and reading books (least of my worries). However, I did get to PUNCH AND KICK out my aggression at my 10:30am Karate class, so I'm good now.

You know, I always wonder if these days would be FUNNY to me someday, or if I'd even MISS these crazy days...

nah!