Sister W.

Today's post is a bitter sweet post.

I went and visited sister W. today. My sweet counselor and a few other sisters in our branch put together a "friendship quilt"--basically, blocks of fabric sewn together to make a quilt, and had everyone sign it.

I was honored to deliver the heart felt gift to her with a few of sis. W's close friends from the branch.

Sis. W. has had terminal breast cancer for several years now. She recently had a double mastectomy in an attempt to rid her of this disease. Unfortunately, the cancer has spread beyond what most would believe "curable."

The last time I saw her was back in June, before she went in for the surgery. Although she was in considerable amount of pain back then, she still looked somewhat well.

Not today when I saw her.

Withered away just sitting in her wheel chair (mind you, she's only about in her early 40's) she was half the size she used to be. She complained of "freezing" and so had multiple blankets over her now frail body. She couldn't move much, she just sat there listening to everyone talk around her.

As I sat in the dark lit room of the W. home surrounded by a few other sisters, I thought about life. I thought about her life, I thought about my life, I thought about LIFE.

Now usually when we see people, we don't see them as "dying," and we certainly don't say "we're watching them die," but I couldn't shake off a strange dark feeling that I was in fact, watching a person slowly move towards the end of this life. I was watching sis. W. die.

Now please, don't think I'm a dark or cruel person. I'm not trying to be. I love this lady so much. She's taught me many valuable lessons, but if you've ever watched a person die, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's an odd feeling...

So back to the dark lit room where I wondered about life...

I wondered if she wished she could wash dirty dishes again.

I wondered if she would complain to have to play with her now 8 month old grandson who was lying on the floor, babbling happily as he raised his head up high to look at the adults in the room.

I wondered if she ever wished she could mop the floors and if she'd love folding warm clean clothes fresh out of the laundromat (most people have to go to a laundromat around here).

I wondered if she ever thought the sun was too bright and too hot.

I wondered so many things.

I don't downplay annoying things in life, nor do I remotely suggest venting or complaining is evil. Heck, you're reading the blog of the QUEEN of complaining! :)

What I did wonder though, was if I took a bit too much for granted.

Naturally.

But maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I needed to "live like I was dying," as Tim McGraw so famously put it.

Maybe it was a blessing to hear the kids scream and run.

Maybe it was a blessing to have dirty dishes piled high to the ceiling and so much laundry to fold my eyes would pop out.

You know why? Because I CAN DO IT, I CAN DO IT, and I CAN DO IT!

Isn't life BEAUTIFUL?!

Thank you sis. W. for all that you've taught me--

may there be many more lessons shared by you!!!