I'm totally embarrassed to even write this, but I thought it was above all, a great lesson learned...at least by me, so I wanted to record it.
So my day didn't start out too great.
I got to the gym (made myself go) and while trying to get out of my car, scraped the vehicle next to me with my door. The wind was super strong (those of you who know Texas wind know how crazy it can be) and blew so fast that the door FLUNG open, hitting the car next to me.
I immediately pulled the car door back towards me, but it was too late. There it was. Not huge and not too big of a deal, but a visible "blue" (from our Blue neon) scrape/scratch on the NICE white SUV.
OH MY GOSH!
My heart sank and started beating so fast.
I looked around.
Did anyone see that?!
Without even thinking, I hopped back into the car and started it, then pulled into another parking spot a few lots away.
No one will ever know.
Thump, thump thump.
my heart felt like it could explode.
Gotta write a note....gotta write a note and leave it on their car! Hey, legs, stop! Stop walking so fast! come back!
What am I doing?!
But for some reason, I couldn't make myself go and write that stupid note.
I was SCARED.
I don't have any money to pay for it should they want to fix it!!
I thought.
It's just a TINY scratch,
I tried to reason.
I walked fast into the gym, hoping that this AWFUL feeling would somehow go away.
"WHY, even OUR car has a ton of scratches and bangs from other cars hitting us with their door...surely, this was just our turn to bang someone else's car. It'll be okay. How does anyone else live with it? If they're okay banging our car, I'll be just fine too."
But, I couldn't even exercise. I felt sick. I knew what I had done and I knew what I had to go do, but most importantly, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I was being dishonest.
So, I picked up my purse, grabbed a pen and a paper and wrote.
"I'm so very sorry...my door hit your car and made a scratch...here's my number. I'm sorry."
I walked outside. Gray clouds covered the usually sunny sky.
"how convenient."
I nervously walked over to the white SUV and placed the note between the windshield and its wiper.
The story isn't over yet, but in just a few seconds--minutes of this whole thing, I learned so much.
As I've been reflecting on this happening all day, I just kept thinking;
1. You never know who you are or what you truly stand for, unless you are TESTED. It's easy to say "I'm an honest person." It's another to BE an honest person, even when no one is looking.
2. I should not judge. I've watched or heard a few stories on the news where people flee the scene of an accident.We've all heard infamous stories of "hit and runs." I don't think I've had enough compassion for those people in the past.
"How could they do such a thing?! unforgivable!" were my thoughts generally. But as I was shown today, the first human instincts are to FLEE. I'm not excusing the behavior, I simply resolute to not judging. Heck, if I literally FLEW the scene of a tiny scratch on someone's car and almost had a heart attack, I can't imagine the fear and guilt someone could feel having done so much worse.
3. If anything, I should have compassion and sympathy for those who flee the scene when they hit something/someone. Again, NOT excusing their actions, just saying that I FEEL SORRY FOR THEM. That feeling that overcame me from making a NITCH on someone's CAR (even a fixable thing) was AWFUL. AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL. I CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE-NOR DO I WANT TO IMAGINE THE GUILT SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH should they have accidentally hit/killed another human being. AWFUL.
Something so simple and seemingly innocent was eating me up inside.
My mistake was "small", and even "fixable." I was even given the chance to GO BACK AND CORRECT the problem (going back and placing the note on their car). Boy, was I lucky on that one. I would have probably felt GUILT for a VERY long time had I not gone back and placed the note on the car.
Anyway, as you can see, I have been pretty shaken up by this "little" incident, but it sure made a lasting impression and I've learned multiple life long lessons from it.
PHEW.
ps. the owner of the SUV DID call me about an hour later... She was so sweet and thanked me for being honest. I'm glad I went back and apologized. It's not worth the guilt that I'd be living with forever...nor being dishonest with the Lord!! YUCK.
Jen Noble says:
ReplyDeletegreat post on the blog. it was a very good example of how your mistake was small , yet fixable and you could go back and correct it. - How we all make mistakes and we can go back and correct and try to fix them. Good example. Thanks for being such a good example to others. I'm sure you will be blessed for your honesty.
Was it a very big dent? Like really noticeable? Did the lady want you to fix it?
Hmm, that wind can sure be damaging in our lives. You know if you think of "wind" as in the context as something that is damaging to us it is true. The wind can sway us and damage us through and through if we don't listen to the still small voice and choose to do the right. It is incredible the destruction wind can bring into our lives figuratively and literally. The actual wind with all the mother nature disasters and tragedies in Japan and Alabama the states with the tornadoes. The destruction is beyond imaginable. The destruction of families that comes from dishonesty is beyond imaginable as well. Sad thing is it happens more than we know. It is so important to be honest at all times, in all things and in all places.
Thanks for the thoughts and for sharing your experience. Obviously it made me think too. :)
I had a small incident today where my honesty was tested. I managed to get out of the store with a huge box of tissues that I forgot to put on the register to pay for. First I thought... dang it, oh well... should I just keep them? They get enough of my money and I never use coupons, surely I've earned it. But immediately had guilty feelings that it wasn't honest, and I knew those feelings wouldn't go away for me if I drove home with the unpaid tissue boxes. Then I thought, well I don't want to go back in with Violet, she's tired, maybe I'll just leave them out here in the cart... but realized that put the temptation on someone else, and the guilt was still there. Finally I told my baby girl, we have to go back to the store, mama forgot to pay for these. She was fine with it of course and I felt better immediately. After I thought, how dumb to try to be dishonest over a couple of boxes of tissues. But no matter how big or small, dishonest is dishonest.
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