I love my job

Yesterday was a really good day.

I think life's full of ups and downs.

When I'm down, it's not necessarily that I'm "depressed," it's more like that's when I ponder and grow the most.

If you see a blog entry about me being "down" or more cynical of my days with the tyrants, it's only because my mind is busily trying to (although UNSUCCESSFULLY) weed out the "unnecessary" things in my life and improve what I have, or even acquire that which I don't have.

I think I feel GUILT a lot of days for what I can't seem to do, or what I want to do but don't know how to do.

Point in case, when I'm cleaning, I feel guilty that I'm not with my kids. But when I'm with my kids, my house is a MESS...to the point where it's hard to feel the spirit, more probably because it makes me feel yicky--then, when I AM playing with the kids, I sometimes wonder...

"shouldn't I be TEACHING them something useful like numbers, colors, words, alphabets, etc??!" How do I find the time or the energy to create such fun games of learning?

The fact is, I have my hard days, but most of the time, I love being a mom.

I had some girl friends come over yesterday and that really did help me feel happy.

I love to chat away our cares and laugh at life and even motherhood.

I love the little moments with my kids.

The SWEET SWEET smile that Kai only shows to me. (honest to all, he has this special smile that I've only seen him give me. It melts my heart)

The way Jaiden elongates his neck to look around for something he wants.

The way Jaiden laughs and runs away when I'm the "monster."

The laughs, OH the laughs!

The little bunsies after a bubble bath. (I like to bite them!! HAHA)

The silly little nicknames I come up with for the kids each day. (so naturally)

Baba, baba-boo, stinkers, stinky buns, my little dinkers, etc.

So silly.

The way Kai gets so proud of himself when he can accomplish a task.

When the boys speak to me in Japanese.

So many wonderful moments that I would never trade for a million dollars. Maybe a billion dollars, but nothing less than that ;)

I am a mother, and I am in love.